Hellraiser

Clive Barker's 1987 Hellraiser has gone on to be something of a phenomena, spawning eight sequels, a comic book series and a whole lot of merchandise. I've never been interested in the franchise, overlooking it for the likes of Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre etc. I remember being pretty creepy out by the VHS cover as a kid though.

So impulsively, I have the first three films on DVD (In a very cool puzzle box) and the eighth movie for some reason (Much like the films themselves, I can be a gluten for punishment)  I was pretty certain the franchise would decline as fast as the Saw series (That is to say, right after the first film) and my morbid curiosity wanted to see how bad the series would get. Plus I love me some sequels.

The film starts us in Morocco, where we see a shady motherfucker sell a puzzle box to another shady motherfucker who pays in dirty cash. What an asshole. Shady motherfucker numero two takes the box to a dark room and solves the puzzle box. Four gruesome bondage demon humanoids appear and hooked chains materlise and pierce the dudes skin. Blue light pierce through the window and the room turns into a butchery, the leader of the S&M crew, Pinhead, closes the box and traps the dude in the nightmarish realm. Oh, they also literally rip him apart. Pretty cool opening, intriguing to say the least even if the effects are rather dated, particularly the hooks piercing the flesh. Wonder why the linger on that shot the longest, it is rubbery to say the least.

We flip forward to see a couple looking round the house and we quickly discover that the man (Larry, Andrew Robinson) is the brother of the shady motherfucker who opened the box (Frank, Sean Chapman). We learn that the house is abandoned and had been squatted in by Frank and that Larry and his new wife Julia (Claire Higgins) are moving back in to strengthen their marriage. Through flashbacks we see that Julia and Frank once had an affair. Larry's daughter Kirsty (The smokin' hot Ashley Laurence) declines to move in with the couple due to a dislike of Julia.

Why wear a jacket when you have no skin? It'll be bloody hard to clean.

While fixing up the place, Larry cuts open his hand on a nail and spills blood in the room where Frank had opened the box. The blood is sucked through the floorboards (nice effect btw) and absorbed by a beating heart. Later that night, Julia visits the room and is greeted by a skinless Frank who tells her he can rejuvenate himself if she brings him victims blood. Mind boggling great effects on the emergence of the skinless Frank by the by.

So, Julia starts picking up schmucks to seduce and sacrifice to Frank and soon Kirsty notices, suspects she is having affairs and begins snooping about. She interrupts an attempted murder by Julia and meets skinless Frank, who keeps uttering the line "Come to Daddy" as if trying to up the creepiness. Dude is skinless, don't think he can really up it anymore to be honest. Anyway, she grabs the box and throws it out the window to escape and retrieve it. She passes out and awakes in a pretty rundown hospital where she then solves the puzzlebox, summoning the BDSM gang. If it feels like I'm speeding up through the plot, it's because I am. Kirsty strikes a deal with the group, she can lead them to Frank, the only person to escape the Cenobites and in return they will leave her alone.

Man, those Cenobites are pretty fucking cool. Yeah, yeah Pinhead is cool and all and the female Cenobite is alright, actually rather creepy at times. The real hero is "Chatterer/Chatterbox" This guy has apparently developed a cult following and I get that because he is SUPER FUNKING SWEET. He is memorable and interesting, I want to know this guys history, give him a film! The other Cenobite - Penishead (Butterball apparently, though I'm sticking with Penishead, or Scroty) is pretty laughable, probably the intention to for a gross looking monster rather than a scarier one. Whatever, he gets killed in a stupid as fudge way, a bloody doorway falls on him. A DOORWAY. These unknown trans-dimensional alien gods all have to get sucked back in the puzzlebox by Kirsty but not ole Scroty, the mighty frame of a door is his doom bringer.

You sir, are terrible.

Probably the only thing that is disappointing and a bit of a let down is the ending. Kirsty and her boyfriend (Haven't talked about him because he is unnecessary and for some reason survives. Plus he gets to kiss Ashley Laurence so fuck that guy) burn the puzzlebox and this homeless man who had been randomly popping up in a hilarious manner throughout the movie appears and straight up fucking puts his hand in the flames and retrieves the box. And then, I shit you not, he turns into an undead skeleton dragon beast thing and flies away. The effect is awful and is jarring compared to the rest of the movie. Whatever, it sets up for a sequel nicely.

Anyway this film is a blast. It hasn't aged particularly well in places and can get very silly at times but considering the budget and how original and good the effects are, you can forgive those moments. I have eight more sequels (one is a remake/reboot/thing, woo-fucking-hoo) to plough through and I sense this series declines at a faster rate than the Saw films but I can't wait because much like this film, I'm a glutton for punishment.

Chatterer AND Ashley Laurence - You are welcome

 

 

 

79/100 - "Entertaining throughout, with great effects and intriguing story if somewhat dated"