Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior

I picked this bad boy up yesterday for my movie of the day because:
A) Everybody wouldn't stop going on and on about how incredible and breathtaking the film/stunts were.
B) Was going through a martial-arts binge phase
C) It was only £2



I was pretty stoked (totally, brah) to sit down and watch this, it had been heavily hyped up for me. Hell, even the DVD cover boasted that "Tony Baa is Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet Li all in one!" Well, I can safely say to you guys that he is not. Don't get me wrong, his martial art skills are damn impressive, he is fast and all about using his knees and elbows, which is pretty sweet. His stunt work is what really breathtaking. I knew there was going to be no wire work, so I guess I was just expecting a lot of parkour and fancy explosions. There are those too, but he jumps through a lot of things and improvises with weapons quite a bit. The pinnacle of stunt glory though is when Tony leaps over a flaming car and his legs catch ablaze, so he starts kicking the fuck out of the henchman while on fire. That is fucking badass. To up the badassery, Tony apparantly singed his eyebrows and hair during a take and straight up kept going until the shot was perfect. That is double fucking badass where I come from.

But and I'm afraid it's a big but (heh), Tony's acting skills are rather sub-par. He lacks that intensitity that made Bruce so intimadating, he lacks the charmisa and likability of Jackie and he is flat out not as cool as my man Jet. Honestly Tony has the acting range and ability of a potato. He also is covered in dirt for 90% of the movie, so the potato analogy is quite sound.

Anyway Tony plays Ting/Spud, the best tree-climber, muay thai warrior in a rural Thai village. When a city thug named Don and steals the head off a prized Buddha statue (The titular Ong Bak) It's down to Spud to recover it and restore hope and somehow, water to the drought stricken village. Spud moseys on down to Bangkok to track Don, meeting up with his cousin Humlae (played by Petchtai Wongkamlao aka Mum Jokmok) who has dyed his hair, renamed himself George and shedded his country life. Easily the most likeable and interesting character, he provides the comic relief sure, but it's never in a too slapstick manner. He and his friend Muay Lek (Pumwaree Yodlkamol, who I swear to God only purpose in the movie is to either:
A) Cry over a death
B) Get kidnapped) run various scams to get rich quick like faking bike races. They get caught doing so and  it's established they are both in debt (Character development! None for you though Spud, shhhh) to some punk drug dealers. George steals the villagers money from Spud and rushes to a fight club to place a bet. Spud follows and (spoilers) wins the fight to recover the villagers money. We learn that Don is just a henchmen to a wheelchair bound, electrolarynx armed crime lord named Komtaun (Suchao Pongwilai) and the rest of the film follows the trios pursuit of him and Ong Bak's head.

I got to say, I really don't like Spud's ethics. There is a scene where George and Muay are cheating at a card game and get caught (They aren't very good at this) and George gets the living shit kicked out of him and Spud just watches. The second the goons touch Muay though, Spud starts muay-thaing them to hell. Same thing happens later at the fight club when some poor dude is about to get killed. Spud watches until the bad guy touches a woman and then he pounces into action. Spud will only save those with vagina's. Equal rights my ass, start living in the 21st century, Spud.

There is also a weird sub-plot involving Muay's sister, a drug dealing hooker with a heart of gold that is caught up with the gangsters. When she tells the dealer she wants to quit, the dealer forces a bunch of flour down her throat and she OD's. Didn't know flour could do that, I wonder if he just got it mixed up with his coke and out there is a fully baked cocaine cake. Does coke rise? Cokey dough?

Also, before I go. The ending annoyed me. George helps save the day and rescue the statue but dies in the process. He even has a little epiphany with his last breath. But that asshole Spud steals the spotlight and adoration of the village at the end. I think it was also hinted he hooked up with Muay. That's George's girl man. At least wait till he's cold in the ground you dickhead.

But anyway, I enjoyed this movie. It didn't blow me away but it kept me entertained and engrossed throughout. I probably won't end up watching the prequels (That are set 500 odd years before this and therefore are very unlikely to feature George) but this is definitely worth a watch, even just for the flaming kicks and George.

Long live George.

KRS