The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Review

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."

I was never really a Tolkien fan before The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. I've never disliked franchise and yet I've never loved it either. The Fellowship of the Ring is a fantastic movie, but I'm not a huge fan of Two Towers or Return of the King. Excessive, drawn out battle scenes and ass-numbing running times are primary reasons. However my biggest gripe has always been how serious the latter two movies were. They never ventured into dark territory - No primary characters die bar Sean Beanomir

The king of memes

This really bothers me, knocking off Pippin or Gimli could add more emotion to the journey. While also showing how much of a threat Sauron's forces are. I need consequences when a movie gets so serious.

Also, they cut out the scenes with my favourite character - The Mouth of Sauron, which is straight up bullshit.

He's fucking terrifying! 

I did however, like most children, read the Hobbit. Even though I never loved the book so to speak, I was a fan of it. It was challenging book compared to other kids books I was reading at the time (Goosebumps for example) I enjoyed it more than the LotR's books and still prefer it.

I was looking forward to the movie adaptation, hyped even. 2012 had been a relatively good year for myself at the movies. Yes Prometheus sucked ass but Skyfall made up for everything. Of my most anticipated releases, that's a fifty percent success rate. (Optimism!)

So after a failed attempt at marathoning the extended editions of Lord of the Rings with Darren of Entrosolet, we headed in to see .The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Peter Jackson got lazy.

No fucking about here. Straight up, I loved it. 

I don't really have much to say on it that hasn't been said 1043 times already. So I'll break down the key discussion points and add my opinion.

• The tone; Yes, I just finished bitching about the serious tone of the LotR trilogy. A common complaint I'm seeing crop up is how the tone changes from comedy to epic adventure too abruptly. Fuck you, Jackson balanced it as best as possible. From the moment it was decided the Hobbit series would act as a prequel and be connected to the original trilogy, he had to balance the childlike novel source with the Lord of the Rings. He did it well.
• It's too long; It is and I can't argue with that. It felt like watching the extended edition of the film and yes there was a lot that could of been cut. No disagreement from me.
• The cast: I have seen people say that the dwarves are too similar and merge into one, essentially just twelve Gimlis. Compared to the book, the dwarves have much, much more personality and individuality. The inclusion of non-Hobbit characters from LotR has bugged a lot of people.  Not me as personally I didn't mind the scenes with them. It was connection with the audience that had been established for years. It was nostalgic. It was kick-ass to see Christopher Lee again.

I adored Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins (The best hobbit in my opinion and a better character all round than Frodo. Martin nails the role perfectly) I loved the soundtrack, the casting was great and James Nesbitt nearly stole the show as Bofur. Also, the scene with Gollum was perfect. Full stop.

That is a mustache worthy of it's own trilogy.

I am not weary about this being a trilogy anymore and so if you are expecting a huge rant about how crazy is it is about adapting a relatively short book into three, three hour movies, tough luck. I jokingly said it was like adapting Casino Royale into a trilogy.

Anyway, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was a great movie and the best possible way to end my movie going experience of the year.

The hype has reached unbearable levels on Django Unchained for next year. Can Jamie Foxx out Django Frank Nero? Only time will tell.

Peace out!

KRS

Top Ten TNA "Original" Wrestlers - Intro

Let's clear a few things up. First, I am a pretty diehard TNA (Total Nonstop Action) Wrestling fan. As a kid I was a staunch WCW fan and after it's takeover by WWF/E in 2001, I disconnected from the wrestling world.  It was due to a mixture of growing out of it due to adolescence and because my beloved Monday Nitro was no longer on air.

11 year old me's exact reaction

I actually didn't give a flying fudge about wrestling between around 2001 - 2004. It was a little company that screamed 'independent scene' and used a bizarre six sided ring. The high flying nature of the X-Division, the original match types (The Ultimate X match is one of favourites of all time) and the fantastic mixture of veterans and rookies completely captivated me. That company was TNA. What sealed the deal for me was that, like WCW, they were the only main competition to WWE.

 The internet retrospectively hates big time on WCW and a lot of hate/bashing has transferred over to TNA.

Pretty much the life of every TNA fan

I feel like I am in a good position to critically rank the top ten TNA original wrestlers. [Note - an "Original" is defined to me as someone who has A. Been there since the Asylum days. B. Have built their success in TNA and not another company. (Christian/Raven can't count) C.Have spent over five years in the company and have expressed loyalty to the company at one point or another]

I have been attending TNA shows in the UK for two years running now with my fellow Regulator Neil. The first one was a house show in Glasgow while the second was the Impact tapings in London. In 2013 we will return to London for another set of Impact tapings. I have even met Dixie Carter and got my ticket signed!

 

She was honored to finally meet me.

So anyway. I have rambled on for long enough, stay tuned for my countdown.

Also started writing two articles for the fine folks over at Wrestling News / Wrestling News World.

The first is Defending WCW and the second is another wrestling game review. 

Peace out chiefs and cheifettes.

KRS

Signs of the Hobbit

It's real late, back from seeing The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Thoughts on that tomorrow.

I need sleep.

But here is the best summary of M.Night Shyamalan (The twist is I spelled it right) Signs I have ever read:

"man, they invaded a planet that essentially rains acid without warning and engaged acid secreting enemies that explode acid when you pop them, in hand to hand combat.....naked. i love the movie but the aliens where pretty derp derp durrrh" - Picklefick.

Goodnight y'all

KRS

Weird Records

I have a large record collection, one that started when I was around 15. I was addicted to buying them. My obsession has waned in recent years but I still can't not buy one that is cheap. It would be rude not to!

I have a few strange records that upon reflection, I'm not too sure why I have. Or why I bought them.

Emerson, Lake & Palmer - Love Beach

"Yeah guys. I think we just made a masterpiece"

Infamous for it's cover and honestly the only reason I probably bought this. I was and am a huge 

prog-rock fan, despite never really getting ELP. I was the king of pretense but that supergroup managed to reach levels of pretentiousness I could only hope to aspire to.

The album itself is actually only mediocre. There isn't as much self-indulgence (Or musical masturbation as I call it) and there is a few good tracks buried mainly by the cover.

I mean look at Carl Palmer, who manages to pull off the Swayze before Swayze.

I will eat your soul

Pink Floyd meets Frank Zappa

1st place in the primary school art competition. 

I don't really believe this still exists. I didn't believe it was real at the time.

It comes from "Festival Actuel, Amougies (Belgium) Day Two - Oct, 25th 1969" and chronociles a strange performance from two of the most perfectly normal artists of their time.

"Normal"

Sadly, the record ain't great. There is a ten minute badly recorded version of "Astronomy Domine" (Which always feel weird for me when Dave is playing rather than Syd) and two good versions of "Green is the colour" and "Careful with that axe, Eugene" to round up Side A.

Side B is the Pink Zappa/Frank Floyd side and the first track is literally three minutes of everyone tuning up. And then main course - a 21 minute version of Interstellar Overdrive with Frank Zappa on guitar! Unforgettably  it falls to same badly recorded production as the other tracks, it drags on particularly during the jam sections. And if I am perfectly honest, you wouldn't even really tell Frank was there.

I was going to include the two/three albums recorded by the Doors after Jim Morrison's death. But I have decided to create a full article for them.

I owe it to Mexican Densmore, PE teacher Krieger and Hipster Manzarek

So instead, I dug out this special little record which lent it's name to this blog.

Peace out everybody.

KRS

WCW Mayhem: Breakdown

Back in the day (Ah, feel the oldness flow through you) when the Monday Night Wars were in full force, we actually got choice in our wrestling games. It was great having the competition of the companies and have the battle continue into video games.  The year is 1999 and this is before all the WWF fans got treated to the likes of WWF No Mercy and WWF SmackDown!. The game every WWF fan I knew clamored around was WWF Attitude and they would go on and on about how awesome it was and how it stood above every other game in all it's glory.

Pictured: Glory.

Even the ECW fans got Playstation games, but they were also made from the same mind shattering awfulness that was Attitudes engine. Plus it came out in 2000, it's 1999 in this flashback, so ECW fans can suck it.

Us WCW fans however, had been spoiled for choice for good video games for years. WCW/nWo Revenge was one of the best wrestling games period.

FOR LIFE!

WCW vs nWo: World Tour and WCW vs the World (Former is N64, latter is Playstation) were both solid games and WCW Nitro and WCW/nWo Thunder were not as bad as first remembered.

So the hype machine for WCW Mayhem was in motion and people, myself included were getting caught up in it.

Think I just got hyped for the game again.

Backstage brawls? Good looking entrances? All 12 WCW PPVS?! A roster of 60! Wow, there is no way this could ever go wrong, could it?

Yes.

It sucks.

No really it sucks. I've wrestled with this game for too long. Part of me refuses to accept that the only (Maybe/probably wrong) wrestling game to have my three heroes - Sting, Bret Hart and Raven - in it and suck so hard. I'll flat out say that this game did more damage to me as a WCW fan than 'The finger-poke of doom' ever did.

Feel your pain DDP

From the stiff slow controls to the weird way the wrestlers hold out their arms while standing, everything feels rushed and just plain strange. The moves while smoother and easier to perform than some games, get repetitive fast and you will soon get into the monotonousness routine that repeats nearly every match. 

The entrances are short but I do pop to hear the classic Four Horseman theme or the Wolfpac theme. The roster is really impressive in it's size (Ernst the Cat vs Horace Hogan puts asses on seats) and it is great to have all the favourites but they all share the same move sets and similar entrances. It's Midway re-skinning Scorpion all over again.

The create-a-wrestler mode is probably the strongest aspect of the game. It was heavily touted and shown off and yes it is perhaps very underwhelming and limited in retrospect but it still is fine for it's time.

Punk got nothing on Bobby Blaze

I had WCW Mayhem for N64 so we never got the backstage elements included. In all honesty though, I never even noticed they were cut. 

Overall, the graphics are quite good, the create-a-wrestler mode is fun and the roster is impressively big.

Everything thing else, the repetition, stiff controls and weird animation all contribute to the rushed feeling of this very sloppy game. Might be 13 years too late, but I'd avoid this game if I were you.

KRS

Billy the Kid

Billy the Kid essay.

Good read!

And how weird is it to read an angelfire page in 2012? Nostalgic as hell.

h8

Promised some behind the scenes stuff and I will get that out ASAP, however as a treat here is the original demo reel/test footage/messing about shots that evolved into ideas for 8. Look out for a remake scene in the movie!

Directed by - Kyle R.S
Starring - Neil Benzie, Kyle R.S
Camera work - Doug Morrison
Music by Burzum (Gebrechlichkeit from Filosofem)

A Literary Martini

With the 23rd/25th James Bond movie "Skyfall" being released this year, once again a renewed interest in Britain's suavest spy occurred.  As a die-hard Bond fan, I felt it was appropriate to read the original Ian Fleming novels. I had just finished reading George R.R Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire saga and needed another series to dive into, so the timing was perfect.

Sexy, sexy re-issue cover.

I fired through "Casino Royale" within a few hours, partially because of it's gripping storytelling and partially because it is a damn short book. So I'm going to a damn short summary of it:

• The 2006 movie adaptation is surprisingly faithful to the novel. Right down to the infamous torturing of testicles. (The 1967 movie version...not so much.)
• Bond is an asshole. And it is awesome. My favourite actor to play 007 is Timothy Dalton, so yeah go figure. 
• I never once mentally pictured the literary Bond like the actors. I could only see Fleming's version. (Which coincidentally is a mash up of Daniel Craig and Timothy Dalton, which just a touch of Sean Connery)
• "The bitch is dead." is badass last line and how more books should finish. 

Another sexy re-issue cover.

I also read the second novel "Live and Let Die" pretty much straight after Royale. It's longer than the first but  I'm going to summarize just as short. Because I'm a lazy, lazy man.

• Mr Big is a waaaaaaay better villain in the novel than in the film.
• It is uncomfortably dated with regards to race. I know it was a different time and all that. But still with chapter titles like "Nigger's Heaven", I still felt a lil' awkward. 
• The relationship between James Bond and Felix Leiter borders on homoerotic at times.
• There is a lot more 'FUCK YEAH' lines in it. 
• The plot is much more complicated but never confusing. Perhaps not as gripping or page turning as Casino but, and I can't stress this enough - Mr Big is a much better character than Le Chiffre.

Next on the shopping list is 'Moonraker'. I do intend to read through all the Fleming books and maybe the continuation novels, depends on the standards of those books.

Peace out

KRS